Sunday already? Really?

Here I am, I said I would write today, and I am actaully keeping my word!
Even though I really have nothing to say.... lol.

Tonight I am going to The Living Christmas Tree. I am very excited about it. I know it is going to be beautiful. Wish I has a certain someone to go with me, but patience will be greatly rewarded. I am sure of that.

But before tonight, there is a lot to be done. Cleaning, Laundry, Roommate moving in. Oh boy!
Its definately not going to be a restful day.

Oh there is one thing, I have noticed that I am starting to think about God a little more everyday. I talk to Him more, I think about my actions more. I think I am finally starting to go somewhere with this. Good right?

I will elaborate more, but for now I am late for breakfast with my mom. I am going ot drink unsweet tea and eat fruit. I AM!

until later....

It's been awhile......

So it's been awhile, things have been a little crazy in my life, not a whole lot of time to write. Besides I am sure that the whole two people who read this probably already know what is going on in my life.

Adam and I are officially separated. Today he moved out with all of his things. Tomorrow my new roommate moves in. Her name is Samantha, she is 19. Oh boy! Its gonna be an interesting ride, but itwouldn't be any fun if it was boring....this thing called life.

Also I have finally started learning about the bible and the life of Jesus. This is a long time coming for me. I am thoroughly enjoying all of the information my dear Sean is teaching me.

Aiko is now an official resident of Oak Ridge, "the Secret City" where she stays with Bobby and Tabby and Broxden. They very graciously have taken her under their wing as one of there own. Mya is still here with me, thank God, some nights I don't know how I would make it through if not for her snuggling warmth radiating from beneath my blanket.

For now I am taking things one day at a time, mostly focusing on my growing relationship with God. With His help I will get through this very weird and unfamiliar point in my life.

I am also going to try to commit to blogging everyday, how many times have I said this right?
Really I AM! I decided that now is a great time to write down what I am going through, and my progress with my faith, and progress with my new start at this life. I'm separated, 24, have baby fever, and no clue what I am doing. But I am doing it!!! One day at a time with the help of some very important people..


Until tomorrow.....

Halloween Projects

Halloween Is almost here and I am SUPER EXCITED!

I decided to make a few cheap projects; I got the idea from the Women's Day Magazine. The first it the Candy Corn Wreath. The Second is the Candy Corn Tree. Here is a brief tutorial on how to make each one.




Material you will need:

Black duct tape
Styrofoam Wreath - White
Styrofoam block
Hot Glue Gun
Black Ribbon
Brach's Candy Corn
Branches from out side
Vase or Container

(all materials can be purchased at Joann Fabrics)

Wreath:
Wrap Black duct tape completely around the Styrofoam wreath.
Then hot glue candy corns around the wreath.
Do this one row at a time, alternating the direction of the candy corn.
When finished use your black ribbon to make a bow and hang.
If you do not know how to make a bow simply look this up on you tube.
It is simple.

Tree:
Find branches outside.
Glue candy corn with hot glue gun in areas where the branches meet.
(ie. where the leaves would naturally grow)
When finished place branch into Styrofoam Block.
Place block and bottom of container.
Use the rest of the candy corn to fill the container covering up the foam block.
Display out of reach of husbands and dogs who like to eat Candy Corn!!!

So finally here is a pic of the yoga may bag I made, sorry it took so long!

Here it is.....

And i also decided to redo my bedroom here is the before and afters:

Everlasting Love

The word love can mean so many things. It can be demonstrated in almost every situation in life. It can be in the eyes of your child, it can be in the arms of your spouse , or parent. It can also be in the greeting of a friend you may have not seen for many years. No matter how it presents itself, it is there regardless, you just have to look for it.

Some people are so blind to it, and yet others can see it coming from miles away. It is not just present in people, it is also present in a garden, or a piece of jewelry, of a cup of coffee you prepare for someone else. Doing things for others is not just a favor, it is a act of love, no matter how grand or minuscule. I find it interesting that love is present in all things regardless of the circumstances, and that we always have the choice to choose love instead of something else entirely. But at the same time this presents a tough question in my mind.

Why do people have such a hard time figuring out their purpose in life? They ask themselves why they are here, why the have to endure such hard times, what happens if they dont believe in God or a higher being, what is death - is it the end or the beginning?

If amazing that people have such a hard time answering these questions when the answer is clearly right in front of us.


It's the purpose, it's the meaning, it's what is happening, and what it going to happen. It is birth, life, and it is even present in death.

Once I figured this out, the rest just fell into place. I wish the world could catch on already!

Lost Love

I feel like writing about losing my Aunt Linda, which I haven't been able to do since she passed on January 29, 2010. Cancer was her final battle, and she obviously lost to its vicing grip. I, by the grace of God, got to spend time with her and care after her during her final days.

Now the month before, I had visited her in Michigan and she was up walking about and smiling and joking around like her usual self. In a matter of about 4-5 weeks she was no longer walking, barely smiling, barely talking, or eating, or living for that matter. It's funny how we all know we are going to eventually die someday, but we never think the day will come, until something like this happens in your life and you realize time is so limited. She was 62 years young. She meant more to me then I will ever understand. Seeing her in such a frail state, made me love her even more. It was like I couldn't do anything except tell her "I love you", and she would smile slightly and mumble it back. I never thought the daily exchange of those three simple words would one day be the most important thing I can do for a person, was to say them. She was so fragile those last couple of days, so weak and medicated. It was like she was just hanging on by a string, just waiting for Jesus to cut it so she could be free from the pain and suffering, free from the embarrassment of having someone do everything for her, free from the constraints of her weak dying limbs and lungs. The odd thing about the last week of her life was that I had never seen her so beautiful in all her life. Until the day she died, she had this angelic glow about her, it was so breathtaking to see, God had touched her.

Leaving that room the last day we visited was the hardest thing I have ever done. Knowing that it was last the breath I would ever see her take, the last smile I would ever see her smile, the last time I would tell her I loved her...lets just say walking away was like ripping my soul out of my body.

The funeral was not as hard as that week, but seeing her finally in that coffin was when it kicked in, I would never see her alive again. I thought I would be ok during the funeral, but of course I lost it several times. It's amazing how people can just walk up to you and the memories come flooding back to you, and the memories bring the tears, and the tears bring the hugs which bring even more tears. It was painful to say the least.

These recent events have changed my life forever. You think you love people so much and then you lose one of them, and it just makes you love everyone else sooo much more. Lately, I have tried to spend time with my mom as mush as possible. It literally hurts when I am away from her, because I know that one day she will be gone too, and one day I will miss her like I miss Linda; even more I'm sure.

This occurance has also made what I do everyday that much more important to me. Fighting cancer through early detection is the key to survival. I wouldn't trade my job for the world at the breast center. Knowing that we are catching cancer in the begining stages and giving people hope makes me feel like I am serving a greater purpose. For my Aunt, For myself, and for God.

Everyday I miss her, and everyday I cry, and everyday I wish I had spent more time with her. The pain doesn't really ever go away, it just gets pushed back into you behind everything else, bills, work, cleaning, blah blah blah, until you sit and think, then it comes rolling back like a tsunami.

I do know one thing, I am convinced that she is up there watching us, wishing for our pain to go away. I know she is no longer suffering and probably up there drinking hot tea with an angel or something, laughing and saying "too funny";but I just cant help but to cry. This past week was her birthday. I have a picture of her on my fridge and the kiss it everyday, hoping she gets the message. Losing a loved one is such an inward struggle. Sometimes I just want to scream!

But she would say, "Ashley, you can do this!" So, I keep plugging along in hopes that time will heal all.

I love you! I miss you! I wish I could hold your hand again, and tell you that you would be ok.

I wish you could come back.

Until we meet again....all my love and tears...